If you grew up in the late eighties and early nineties (guilty), then you very well may have accumulated an absurdly high quantity of hours in front of a television (also guilty). And, if you're like me (hopefully innocent, for your sake), the vast majority of that time was spent absorbing sitcoms (extremely also guilty).
Stupid, inane, unfunny, sitcoms.
What's that you say? The "com" in that label stands for comedy, right? Yeah, you'd think so. However, if you're familiar with the genre during those years (or most years, really), you'd be able to confirm that humor was, for some reason, deemed a minor piece of the production pie.
Was there blandness? Oh, for sure. Sameness? Uh-huh. Dullness, whiteness, and groan-inducing special moment-ness? Yes, yes, and oh hell yes. The folks who doled out these 30-minute schlock parades couldn't wait to stack the next log of pure, squishy, vanilla tripe right square in the middle of the prime-time lineup.
Why? While there are several reasons for such mind-numbing fair (hello lowest common denominator), I believe a fairly major cause was due to the sheer quantity of entertainment that needed to be produced. In those days, most shows were expected to turnout about twenty-four episodes per season (September to May). So, the sheer pressure of assembly-line-like creation induced an environment more concerned with quantity than with quality. Per this, writers got burned out and turned to overused tropes to get through to summer.
One of those formats which really reinforces this suggestion is the "clip show." If you remember the time, you probably can recall experiencing it. You'd sit down in late April for another new episode of Growing Pains or Who's the Boss or Another Suburban Family's Pseudo-Struggles (a classic), only to be immediately confused. Just a few minutes after the catchy theme song ended, you'd be greeted with moments that you'd already have viewed from prior episodes of the same season.
You see, to save money (and give the writers a desperately needed three-day weekend to sober up), they'd begin an episode with an extremely simple setup, and then scotch-tape together scenes already filmed into a barely cohesive storyline. For example, we'd get something like this:
Cut to: Interior of garage of standard family home. Pudgy guy in a hoodie and shorts stands, sweating, by a large metallic ladder. Ridiculously attractive and fit blond woman leans against the doorway. A slight wrinkle in her blouse fabric indicates a serious fault in her quality as a mate, leading to a deserved life of subservience to a man who can neither make toast nor tell you where it comes from.
Husband - "Hey hon, I've got a great idea! I know it's only Spring, but I'm going to go put the xmas lights up extra early this year."
Wife - "Oh dear, don't do that, our ladder is just about to fall apart! Remember that the kids used it to participate in the Juggalo Trampoline Spectacular that passed through town last week?"
Husband - "Now wifey, don't you worry you're pretty little head. It will be fine."
Cut to: Hospital bed. Husband's leg is in traction. Begin twenty-two minutes of previously aired clips. Crank laugh-track to puree.
Ah yes, good times (not Good Times, although they probably did one of those as well). Anyway, why the spiel above? Well, I was out of town last weekend, and it's already mid-week. Sooooo......
EPISODE 32
The Knack, "My Sharona"
Hey, this song is really cool. It was a big hit in the states and in several other countries. Yeah, just like that Ricky Martin song. Remember that?
Man, that was great. It reminds me of some other...things. Like, I know Sharona is a funny name. But, have you heard of Vegemite? I know, right? Crazy, crazy, world.
Of course, her name was Sharona, not $harona! Now that would have made our hearts go tick-tock.
Actually, it would have been Unbelievable!!!
Yeah.
Ahem
I still hate this F'n song though.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Uh, so, how do I end this week's thoroughly content-less entry but keep people interested so that they come back next week? Hmm...
See ya next week!
Stupid, inane, unfunny, sitcoms.
What's that you say? The "com" in that label stands for comedy, right? Yeah, you'd think so. However, if you're familiar with the genre during those years (or most years, really), you'd be able to confirm that humor was, for some reason, deemed a minor piece of the production pie.
Was there blandness? Oh, for sure. Sameness? Uh-huh. Dullness, whiteness, and groan-inducing special moment-ness? Yes, yes, and oh hell yes. The folks who doled out these 30-minute schlock parades couldn't wait to stack the next log of pure, squishy, vanilla tripe right square in the middle of the prime-time lineup.
Why? While there are several reasons for such mind-numbing fair (hello lowest common denominator), I believe a fairly major cause was due to the sheer quantity of entertainment that needed to be produced. In those days, most shows were expected to turnout about twenty-four episodes per season (September to May). So, the sheer pressure of assembly-line-like creation induced an environment more concerned with quantity than with quality. Per this, writers got burned out and turned to overused tropes to get through to summer.
One of those formats which really reinforces this suggestion is the "clip show." If you remember the time, you probably can recall experiencing it. You'd sit down in late April for another new episode of Growing Pains or Who's the Boss or Another Suburban Family's Pseudo-Struggles (a classic), only to be immediately confused. Just a few minutes after the catchy theme song ended, you'd be greeted with moments that you'd already have viewed from prior episodes of the same season.
You see, to save money (and give the writers a desperately needed three-day weekend to sober up), they'd begin an episode with an extremely simple setup, and then scotch-tape together scenes already filmed into a barely cohesive storyline. For example, we'd get something like this:
<Cheesy harmony peters out>
Cut to: Interior of garage of standard family home. Pudgy guy in a hoodie and shorts stands, sweating, by a large metallic ladder. Ridiculously attractive and fit blond woman leans against the doorway. A slight wrinkle in her blouse fabric indicates a serious fault in her quality as a mate, leading to a deserved life of subservience to a man who can neither make toast nor tell you where it comes from.
Husband - "Hey hon, I've got a great idea! I know it's only Spring, but I'm going to go put the xmas lights up extra early this year."
Wife - "Oh dear, don't do that, our ladder is just about to fall apart! Remember that the kids used it to participate in the Juggalo Trampoline Spectacular that passed through town last week?"
Husband - "Now wifey, don't you worry you're pretty little head. It will be fine."
Cut to: Hospital bed. Husband's leg is in traction. Begin twenty-two minutes of previously aired clips. Crank laugh-track to puree.
<Commerical break>
 |
| He'll never touch you Terry, you're dirt (#mst3k reference) |
Ah yes, good times (not Good Times, although they probably did one of those as well). Anyway, why the spiel above? Well, I was out of town last weekend, and it's already mid-week. Sooooo......
EPISODE 32
The Knack, "My Sharona"
Hey, this song is really cool. It was a big hit in the states and in several other countries. Yeah, just like that Ricky Martin song. Remember that?
Man, that was great. It reminds me of some other...things. Like, I know Sharona is a funny name. But, have you heard of Vegemite? I know, right? Crazy, crazy, world.
Of course, her name was Sharona, not $harona! Now that would have made our hearts go tick-tock.
Actually, it would have been Unbelievable!!!
Yeah.
Ahem
I still hate this F'n song though.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Uh, so, how do I end this week's thoroughly content-less entry but keep people interested so that they come back next week? Hmm...
 |
| Boom, nailed it. |
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