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A number one song can be a perfect storm of lyrical and musical genius coming together to create a uniquely special moment of excellence. And yet, often times, the individual elements that make up a top hit are not quite the sum of their parts.


Here at The Breakdown testing site, words are removed and isolated from the songs they've been assigned to. This allotment of dialogue is then subjugated to a rigorous series of independent tests in order to determine just how great/awful, creative/inane, and remarkable/pointless it truly is.


Do the lyrics of a number one tune stand, or fall, on their own?


Let's find out.


Sunday, March 3, 2019

Billy Joel "We Didn't Start the Fire"

*****Number One, December, 1989*****


Isn't it great when you come up with an idea and you think you're sooooo clever and then you find out that your great concept isn't original at all and has not only been done but been done again and again and again for years and years and years?  Well, isn't it?  Great?

No, sir, it isn't great, thank you very much.

You see, I like to write (example one, me writing "example one").  And, part of that enjoyment comes from the initial creative aspect of the overall process.  Before even getting the pen or keyboard in hand, it's fun to ruminate on a topic and then, suddenly, randomly, bizarrely, through no heavy lifting at all (unless I'm too lazy to get a glass for that 22 ounce bottle of beer I'm sucking down) getting a random spark to light my way forward.  It feels really, I don't know, cool.

However, there are times when that moment of inspiration ends up in an altogether different place.  Copy-land.  Because, as you might have noticed, there are lots of people in the world (I've heard, like, in the dozens).  And, some of them have a functioning brain. Sounds weird I know, but it's true!  Among those smarties, a few are imbued with the ability and desire to conjure things out of nowhere.  Like a wizard, only not nearly as useful (nor with a stylin' hat and wand to impress the ladies), they also get their kicks from creating stuff.  It makes the world a better place, in my humble opinion.

Thus, a bunch of folks adding stuff to the collective?  That's good!

Yes, yes it is.  The thing is, sometimes there's a bit of overlap between what I and what they happen to create.

Thus, a bunch of folks adding stuff to the collective before I can?



Why?  Well, in a nutshell, we all think we're amazing individuals with perfectly unique minds and revolutionary thought patterns.  We think we're clever and great and totally without equal.  It's how we like to see ourselves.

Note that, when I say "we", I think we all know who we're talking about.

Gosh my computer screen is really reflective today.

Anywho, when we (I) learn somebody else had your (my) remarkable idea before you (I) did, well...

The Morty shame spiral is long and deep

Right, so, that brings us to this week's number one hit.  Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" is without a doubt an instantly recognizable tune.  If you've heard it once, you know it.  The song's cadence and lyrics sets it apart from the vast majority of popular music.  Even if you can't repeat one line verbatim, it's probable that you could make mouth sounds to approximate the tone and levels.  It is immediately identifiable.

For those reasons and more, it qualifies as perhaps both the best and worst potential karaoke song available.  That's probably what also makes it such an easy target for knock-offs and inventive (eh) permutations.  This is where I come in...and then leave.

You see, I had a thought.  What if...wait for it...I do my own version of this song?!?!  The actual lyrics of "We Didn't Start the Fire" consist of 119 lines of historical moments covering the time period of 1949 until 1989.  Now, my completely original plan is to start in 1990 and start writing something oh wait hang on what's that you say Wikipedia...
"Numerous parodies and takeoffs have been based on the song (often expanding to events that have occurred since 1989)..."

Ah, well, ok.  Surely there can't really be that many.  Right?
"...including The Simpsons' parody "They'll Never Stop the Simpsons"...and the San Francisco a cappella group The Richter Scales' 2007 Webby Award-winning parody "Here Comes Another Bubble"...and The Cayuga's Waiters, a former a cappella group at Cornell with a version "We Didn't Go to Harvard"...and the band Guns 'n' Moses made a parody called "We Love Barney Fife" that was played on the Doctor Demento radio show, which..."

That's just the first paragraph.  Of nine.  Nine paragraphs (and likely more not even Wiki-listed) filled with other uses of this tune.  Fortunately, there aren't any other a cappella covers referenced, but really that's the lone bright spot. 

Otherwise, the list really runs the gamut, from the ones mentioned above to "We Didn't Start the Flame War" (Internet trolls) to "We've Got a Strong Desire" (Jewish History) to "Wir haben Grund zum Feiern" which is a German song that lists alcoholic beverages. 

Billy Joel, what have you wrought?

When you google "German" and "Fire", you cross your fingers

Oh yeah, and I've got one more worth mentioning.  There's apparently some bloke (he's British, so yeah) named Jim Daly who each year creates a song of each season's 92 clubs in the Premier League and English Football League to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire".  Interested?  Of course you are.

Here's the chorus:
Lots of teams in English football, 
from the Premier League down to those teams in League two, 
lots of teams in English football, 
I'm gonna try to make it through the whole 92.

I mean, wow.  Only a madman genius can do such a thing like rhyme two and 2.  So, really, I hope Mr Joel is paying him royalties for that honor. 

And, suffice it to say, I abandoned my tremendous "fresh" idea of doing my own copy of this hit the moment I saw the words "Webby-award winning".  That's not a summit I could ever hope to reach.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Billy Joel topped the charts and gave amateur comedians and shiny-vested warblers a chance to add new material to their repertoire.  He also un-ironically brought forty years of history to the top ten.  But, is it a good song? 

Honestly, I don't know.  If you hadn't noticed, I clearly avoided discussing that throughout the entirety of this blog post.  A strange tactic, you might say.  Although, to be fair, you'd ONLY say that if you've never read anything that I've ever written before. 

If you haven't, then yes, strange indeed.

But, do you realize who does know a lot about this song?  Podcast people.  Specifically, over at the Single File, Dillon has been joined by experts to talk this tune.  How expert?  They actually have a weekly podcast devoted entirely to just this song!  They talk in depth about each and every reference of this number one release and nothing else!  Man.  So, if you are looking for a professional and serious analysis of the "Fire", please check it out.

In the meantime, I'm going to find some other Billy Joel song to put my own spin on.  There must be a way I can convert "Allentown" to an ode about hockey teams.  It's the only thing that nobody else hasn been done yet.

I hope.

Please don't check Wikipedia.

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