(Don't post a pic of the show Scrubs)
(Don't post a pic of the show Scrubs)
(Don't post...)
Wha? Was I typing that out loud?!? Oh, jeez, that's so very embarrassing. Now you know where my brain thingy goes first, and just what sort of microscopic-level link I'm willing to exploit to fill content on this blog.
I mean, yes, the name of the song and that cheezy sitcom are virtually the same. Thus, it is the easiest, shortest path to an image I could possibly take here. So it would be perfectly understandable (if tremendously lazy) for me to post a gif here of Zach Braff or the guy from Office Space or whatever, despite literally no other connection to this week's tune.
But would it? Maybe I can find something, anything, to pair this late nineties hit and 2K comedy show. Perhaps there might be a wormhole we can travel down to find a story that's amazing and shocking and...
No. Full stop.
Unless! How about we take a look one more time and...
No. Nothing. Sigh.
Alright, fine, fair enough. I'm going to take responsibility here to be better. We're not gonna go lowest common denominator. Instead, let's chat just about TLC's chart topper and give it the deep-study it deserves. It's a good song!
How 'bout we start with the lyrics? That seems like a serious, thoughtful, not shortcutty thing to do. Right, so:
Verse 1
A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a Buster
Hang on.
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| I admit, I have a problem |
Look, music can touch us in a great many ways. Inspiration, sadness, belonging, longing, hope, and countless other feelings can come from the songs we listen to. When you hear a tune, the way you identify with it and process it is an entirely personal process. And, the end result is an entry within your mental database that is completely unique with a fully formed sense of opinion.
And in addition to that, whenever a random moment brushes up against that bit of lyric, a connection is born. The tune becomes suddenly attached to a bunch of other pieces from that person's life. The references can generate and multiply and go on and on for just one release. It's an amazing thing, really.
Why do I feel compelled to mention the above? Because "No Scrubs", and to be honest, TLC as a whole, holds absolutely no spot in my noggin. None.
Pretty much every review of the band and this song is positive, and I totally can see why. They had a great sound and put out a handful of clever and catchy releases which were highly regarded. Their approach and look set them apart from the rest of the late nineties scene. It's really easy to listen to this week's top hit and immediately think, yeah, I see why this was so popular. That definitely isn't something that can be said for every number one we've been dealt.
However, all that said, I've got nothing here. I existed in a totally separate world from this song as I drunkenly stumbled through my twenties. It didn't make an impact on me in any way. And, hearing it now, I have to say, well, nothing has changed.
My head pockets are empty.
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| Scrub-like behavior? |
No disrespect is intended here at all. Although, as I ruminate a bit more, I do have to wonder why I'm not getting some sort of feeling listening to this band. I mean, we've had artists like Ke$ha and Donovan on our list so far. Neither of their hits were pointed in my direction, but both of them stimulated some sort of reaction, whether it be amusement or downright contempt (dumb, stupid Superman). TLC just isn't bringing any sort of thing out of me. I wonder...
Hmm, I just...wait...hmm...
WAIT....
No, don't say it. DON'T SAY IT!!!
Am I...a scrub? Is that why I don't care about this song? What the hell is going on here, TLC? My god.
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| Oh great, now I did this. Maybe I am a scrub! |
We need to find a computer or something to figure this out. This is serious! Isn't there some kind of test or quiz or exam I can take to figure this out?!?! Somehow I need to be evaluated!
SCRUB EVALUATION
Are you a scrub?PART I - Give yourself one scrub point for each of the following if you;
- Think you're fly
- Talk about what you want
- Sit on your broke ass
- Hang out the passenger side of your best friend's ride trying to holler
Hoo boy. Um, I don't think I'm fly. I do talk about what I want, though that usually only concerns burritos and beer. And I can afford those, thank you very much. Regarding the last item, let's see, best friend, hanging your head out a car...my dog is a scrub! Damn Ollie! I never knew. I'm in the clear, but my furry friend clearly needs a talking to. SCRUB POINTS - ONE
PART II - Give yourself two scrub points for each of the following chorus items, if you;
- Don't have a car and you're walking
- Live at home with your mamma
- Have a shorty but don't show love
- Wanna get with TLC but have no money
Ok, I have a car AND I don't live with my mamma. Plus, as established above, my ass is positively fixed with beer and burrito cash. Now, do I have a shorty? Pulease. Look how long this blog entry is! That's right, they don't call that one writer guy Longfellow for no reason. Well, it's because his name is Longfellow. That's a reason!!! SCRUB POINTS - NONE
TOTAL SCRUB SCORE - 8.33% (1 of 12 possible points)
SCRUB RATING - Non-Buster
Whew, I think I'm safe. Guess I'll do some hollerin'. I'm sure it will be well received. Oh ladies...
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| Yikes, I'm a scrub now, aren't I? |
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