Hole "Celebrity Skin"

*****Number One, September, 1998*****


Growing up, whenever my friend Chris and I were watching a movie, and one of the characters spoke the name of the flick onscreen, we'd feel compelled to applaud.  Yes, we were dopey.  But, it seemed a bit impressive when the filmmaker managed to "reasonably" wedge the title somewhere into a chunk of dialogue.  Sort of like marketing your film during the film.  Kinda smart!

Ok, kinda stupid!

When it comes to songs, however, the practice of inserting the title into the body makes a bit more sense.  The vast majority of number one hits are named for some segment of the words ensconced within it.  Seems logical.  After all, if you're writing an ode to pancakes, and the chorus repeats and repeats the glory of the blessed breakfast sponge, you'd expect the name of the tune to be something akin to "The Pancake Song."  I mean, wait, hang on...

(Note to self, find out if there is a pancake song.  If not, discover rhyme for syrup, and rule the world!)

...So, it can be odd to find a tune not named for any combination of the lyrics themselves.  "Celebrity Skin" by Hole fits that bit of unusualness.  The practice isn't necessarily right or wrong, I think.  But, naming a song in this manner raises some questions;

1. If you write a song about a thing, don't you need to mention said thing a few times?
2. Alternatively, if you come up with a title you really like, do you not feel compelled to inject it into the very tune you're using it for?
3. Courtney, are you really as yucky a human being as you have come across these past two decades?

All valid inquiries.  However, if you're name is not Courtney, and you are not at least twenty years old, you can ignore question three.

For now.

The goal of this site is to dig into lyrics independent of anything else.  The thing is, it can be difficult to take such a tact without also taking some connected attributes into consideration.   A song isn't just a list of words floating freely in the atmosphere.  It is tethered down by several aspects, including performer and title.  The parts matter.

With that decree, we're gonna go all judgy on the lyrics from some of the shorter stanzas of "Celebrity Skin" utilizing three separate criteria here:

  

-Are they good?  

-Couldn't they be used as a title?  

-How accurately do these support our dire opinion of Courtney Love?   

I feel this a reasonable and fair exercise, and can't see how it will be silly or ridiculous in the least.  This was a serious and well-regarded band, after all.  Right?

Yup, perfectly sensible.

Let's begin.

"Oh, make me over / I'm all I want to be / A walking study / in demonology"
Going with nonsense right from the start, impressive!  And "A walking study in demonology" sounds like a textbook from some awful community college course, like Beginning Warcraft or Understanding The Craft and Other Ridiculous Pseudo-Dark 90's High School Films.  Ok, I might take that second class.
-Lyric Quality - 2 stars
-Title Potential - 3 stars
-Courtney Applicability - 4 thigh bruises

"Oh, look at my face / My name is might have been / My name is never was / My name's forgotten"
Well, I'm confused.  Individually, each statement is fine.  Clever, even.  But altogether, this section is a mess.  The last three lines are like a haiku written by depressed junior-high student.  In fact, let me count...it is a haiku!  Move the word "been" to line two, and it fits the 5-7-5 structure.  Jeez Courts, I'm sorry Mr Walker graded you so poorly in English Lit, but get over it!
-Lyric Quality - 3 stars
-Title Potential - 4 starts
-Courtney Applicability - 2 dates/diseases with/from a bass player

"You better watch out / What you wish for / It better be worth it / So much to die for"
Too soon.
-Lyric Quality - 3 stars
-Title Potential - 2 stars
-Courtney Applicability - 5 Yokos

"You want a part of me / Well, I'm not selling cheap / No, I'm not selling cheap"
Bottom line is, stardom isn't changing her.  You get that, dozens of marketing people paid to make her dress and look and act a certain way?!?  NOT CHEAP!
-Lyric Quality - 1 star
-Title Potential - 5 (sarcastic) stars
-Courtney Applicability - Respect.  Or, pills.  Either one.  Or both.

Is...is there not one photo of you that doesn't make me itch?

FINAL LYRIC SCORE - 9.00 stars
FINAL TITLE CHOICE - "Five Sarcastic Stars"  (They really should have called me)

FINAL THOUGHTS
Some songs get to number one because they're really good.  Others make it because they're very of-the-moment, or happen to hit a trend perfectly in the sweet spot.  And then, there are the mediocre ones polished within an inch of their life and then pushed on the public at large due to the singer's relationship with a more famous and somehow more dodgy lead singer.

This song?  It's no Demolition Man.

Truer a review has never been rendered.