Year One Review

Over in podcast land, the Single File put out a new episode this past week which takes a look at the last year and provides an update on the highest and lowest rated songs they've covered.

Well, I'm nothing if not totally devoid of original ideas and/or any shame at all in copying others.  So, yes!  We here at the Breakdown are also going to do a year end review thingy that sort of explains what entries were seemingly the most/least enjoyed over the prior twelve months.  Ain't I creative?

The thing is, the rankings over there were based on actual input from the listening public.  I have no listeners.  Nor, public, to be brutally honest.  However, I can provide a form of popularity countdown to suss out and review.  It likely has less to do with song quality, though, and more to do with how many drunkards incorrectly clicked the link to my site thinking they were ordering a chimichanga (happens more than you'd think).  Yup, instead of basing my standings on votes, I can only use page visits. Your mileage may certainly vary with this approach, especially with all of those Russian bots out there (my views will go through the roof if we ever get to post about some Gorky Park hits).

I understand that it's not the soundest metric to judge the songs we looked at.  But, it's really all I've got to use.  Unfortunately, beyond the inherent flaws I've circled above, this method has some other glitches as well.

• I can't include ten of the chart toppers we've covered.  That's because I didn't do individual posts for those releases.  Instead, I took the easy way out in those cases and blogged in bulk (just like those Costco-brand internet commentators).  So those hits cannot be judged the same.  Instead, I'll pull those out and describe which two of those would be the best and worst to do karaoke to.  In a way, that's totally more important data.
• Best choice for karaoke of those ten songs - Prince "Batdance"
• Any chance I get to simply say "Vicky Vale" over and over, I'm going to take it.  And you should too.
• Worst choice for karaoke of those ten songs - Milli Vanilli "Blame it on the Rain"
• You can't cover a song that wasn't actually sung by the band itself.  It's a technically impossible concept.  This is what Inception 2 will be about, if they ever get around to it.

Call me about the script Leo.  Or else.

• I also can't include the final two songs of the year in my list.  I never got a chance to write about them, so they get no score.  If you haven't heard them yet, allow me to explain these number ones thusly:
• Belinda Carlisle "Heaven is a Place on Earth"
• A sappy pop tune about love and heaven and how those things are available here on Earth for the low low price of your eternal soul.  I think.
• Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots "Disco Duck"
• This song totally refutes everything Belinda just told you.  There is no love and no heaven.  We're all doomed to live in this world which is dark and full of musical awfulness that nobody can possibly survive.  Disco.  Disco ducks.  What else can I tell you that you don't already know.  Be afraid.

We are all doomed

Sigh.

Anyway, let's move on to the ratings.  Per pure, Google calculated click-throughs, here are the ten most popular posts I provided.

1. Billy Joel "We Didn't Start the Fire"
2. TLC "No Scrubs"
3. Ricky Martin "Livin' La Vida Loca"
4. Survivor "Eye of the Tiger"
5. Dave Seville and The Chimpmunks "The Chipmunk Song"
6. Beck "Loser"
7. The Monkees "I'm a Believer"
8. Starship "We Built this City"
9. Vanilla Ice "Ice Ice Baby"
10. Men at Work "Down Under"

Some thoughts:
-Billy was way ahead on my chart.  Perhaps Dan and Henry over at the Firestarters Pod helped fuel the excitement and runaway success of Mr Brinkley's history lesson.

-Ricky Martin held the top spot for quite a while.  It's also one of the favorite things I wrote, as it made me laugh frequently in putting it together.  Guess I'm a scrub after all.

-The most detested song on the pod is my fifth most-read entry.  Proving once and for all, um, reading is for saps.  Chimpmunk-lovin' saps.

-As bad luck would have it, I wrote the Monkees column just after Peter had passed away.  It's one of the few times when I actually had something nice and heartfelt to say about a band rather than just making dumb jokes.  I don't know what I was thinking.

-There's been a lot of Australia content for a music blog from some guy in Oregon.  Seriously, look back.  Men at Work owes me a meat pie. 

And, just as Dillon did, here are the five least read posts of the past year.  Buckle your failure belts tight.

1. A-ha "Take on Me"
2. (tie) Peter Gabriel "Sledgehammer" and Hole "Celebrity Skin" and Outkast "Ms Jackson"
3. The Beach Boys "Kokomo"

Some thoughts:

-Number one is a pretty decent song, but in re-reading my post, yeah, I kind of phoned that one in.  I understand the low tally.  No argument from me.

-In "Sledgehammer", I did something that I hoped someone would mention to me.  Of course, getting that mention would only occur if someone(s) had actually read the piece.  Oh well.  To spoil the fun surprise (if you're still planning on going back to last August to read this post, um, you're more of a procrastinator than I am), take a look at the list of bawdy lyrics I reprinted from the song.  Among them, I stuck in the chorus from Naughty by Nature's magnum opus "O.P.P."  I didn't footnote it or call it out.  I just put it in there, for me.  This is the type of absurd stuff that makes me laugh and laugh.  It also explains why nobody reads this stupid blog.

-Speaking of stupid, "Kokomo".  Really deserves a place in the bottom five.  What a stinker.

So, there you have it!  A year, almost, sort of.  

And now, for a moment of utmost sincerity.  To anyone who has taken the time to read any of the inane babble I've put up on these www's, I can only offer you the humblest thanks.  It's an honor for me when people take the time that could otherwise be used on fantasy football or cat memes or twitter feuds and use a piece of it to scan my words for some entertainment/funny/typos.  Really, you guys are just the best.  This blog is just meant to be an enjoyable and occasional side-hobby, and I'm extremely pleased when it gets an eyeball or two.  I appreciate y'all tons and tons!

Finally, a special shout out to the man who kicked this whole number one empire-thing into gear.  Dillon has done a great job with his show, putting out some amazing material on a weekly basis.  Thanks to him for allowing me to ride the coattails along the way.  If you haven't yet, go out and give the Single File a listen or twelve.  Season two starts soon.

Yep, for both of us.

Anywho, thanks again, and allow me to leave you with you the first thing I wrote for this enterprise nearly twelve months ago.

"Here's the problem with poetry."

Yeah, now the failure makes complete sense. 

Totally worth it!

And, as always, turn down your lights (where applicable)