Huey Lewis and the News "Power of Love"

*****Number One, August, 1985*****


This week's top tune is familiar to anyone with a fondness for classic flicks of the 80's.  Back to the Future was a massively popular release and has remained as a reference point in popular culture ever since.  The story of a teenage boy going back in time to order soft drinks that don't yet exist and get hit on by his mom is the kind of family fare that will never not be popular.  It's an all-time great.

A large part of the film's appeal was the music.  During the scenes set in the 1950's, we see our titular hero retcon Chuck Berry's talents (and songs) as well as play some "rock" guitar that utterly horrifies the collective future olds.  Even though they are kids at that point themselves, I can imagine them thinking;

Kids today!  That noise, what with the tapping and whammys and Yngwies and Malmsteens.  Will the future be this loud and screechy and full of things that go wango tango?  Will it?  We'll all have to figure out a way to survive.  How will we get through it?  Sigh.  Perhaps a Hootie will save us?

Perhaps.

That guy at Guitar Center.  You know that guy.  Don't be that guy.

Despite the back-in-time aspect of the overall story, the stand out hit (and today's number one selection) is pure 80's.  Huey Lewis and the News really nailed it.  And, I'm not just talking about the song. 

Let's start with the name.  Huey?  Yes, Huey.  You might presume that a moniker so uncool would have to be real.  However, you'd be wrong.  The name was chosen, purposely chosen, by a man, named Hugh Cregg.  Hugh Cregg!  Sadly, apparently, we just missed out on Hugh Cregg and the, uh...California Nutmegs.  I don't know.  It's a thing!  And they are from San Francisco, so you know, it could have happened.

It didn't happen.  California bummer.

Instead, we received Huey Lewis and the News.  While it's no Bananarama or Tears for Fears or Biff and the Righteous Skeezers, it still fits squarely in the 80's band name universe.  Plus, their look was totally on point. 

No make-up.  No glitter.  No real style at all.  Just a bunch of regular schmoes that looked like they just walked over from an insurance convention.  And not a good insurance convention either.

Neckerchef? Hey, sure, go be your best self, Neckerchef man. No judgment here.

Lest we forget, our lead singer has a big ol' chin butt.  Look at that thing!  I mean, sheesh, you could park a few almonds in there.  Or a tablespoon of gravy.  Is that why he became Huey?  Can you not carry gravy in your chin if your name is Hugh?  Hmm, I'm guessing that's the case.  Pfft, stupid laws.  We lost out on the Nutmegs!

Anyway, I'm off track just a little here.  The thing is, regardless of how seemingly unremarkable and plain this group of American hosers is, they were wildly successful.  Twelve top ten hits in the US, three of which went all the way to number one.  While those numbers may not blow your mind, consider that was all done in one decade.  That's a pretty big accomplishment for any band.

And, to return to the start of this meandering synopsis, they had the biggest song in one of the most popular films of all times.  To put it bluntly, that's a hell of a career.

But, is it really enough for today's youth?

Ummmmm, what's a Huey?

We know the tunes of this week's band rocked the fifties.  And, obviously, they destroyed the eighties.  But, what about now?  How would today's teenage (totally green and carbon neutral) wasteland feel about the "Power of Love"?  Would they spend their Venmo dollars to ride that train?  Well, with some movie magic, we can try and find out.

We're going to go Back....to the Future!

The Crunky Future.

Our opening scene

<Interior Office of Head Promoter of Coachella Music Festival.  His office is strewn with half empty bottles of Kombucha and CBD oil.  A flyer about the upcoming opening of Sanjay's Suspender Hut sits just to left of a stack of blinking iPhones.  The man behind the desk looks tired.  His long scruffy beard reaches the crest of his crisp, new Ramones t-shirt.  He rubs his eyes, squints at the document in his hands, and sighs>

Promoter:  Man, I just don't know what I'm going to do.  Beyonce bailed, and I can't figure out who else can headline.  There must be someone out there who's big enough to fill that slot.

<A bright light and a screeching sound occurs just outside his door.  The promoter quickly shoves two bags filled with white powder into a desk drawer and gulps down the contents of an ashtray to his right.  He swallows hard.  Eight pills go easy, but the two nickels make him gag a bit.  The door swings open and a wild looking old man steps through.  He's got a pile of wind-blown gray hair and some very unusual clothes on.  They look vintage.  The promoter is jealous>

Promoter:  Can I help you sir?
Old Man:  Yes!  I've got the biggest band in the world, and they need somewhere to play.  Would you be able to help me out?
Promoter:  What, are you kidding me?!?!  That's amazing, I was just bemoaning how desperate I was for that kind of act.  Who are they?  What genre do they play?  K-pop?  Hip-Hop?  Penguin Jazz?  Cheddarworth Hustle?  Couch Finesse?  Volcanic Siamese?  Onion pants?  Fallen arches?  Wallpaper gringo?  Taco?  Is is taco?  Do they play the taco!?!?!
Old Man:  Oh, get ready my man.  They are...Huey Lewis and the News!
Promoter:  Is, is that a...what is that?
Old Man:  What is that?  Are you kidding me?  It's the most popular act going.  Three number one hits!
Promoter:  I've never heard of them.  What are their songs?
Old Man:  "Power of Love"!
Promoter:  Are you serious?
Old Man:  "Stuck with You"!
Promoter:  Uh, how does that one go?
Old Man:  (singing) "I'm so happy to be stuck with you."
Promoter:  Ugh, I don't think so.
Old Man:  What about "I Want a New Drug."  You must know that tune.
Promoter:  You'd think so with that title, but no.
Old Man:  Ok, I've left the best for last.  "Hip to be Square".
Promoter:  Get out of my office.
Old Man:  But you don't understand.  You have to do this.  If you don't book them, your parents will never meet and fall in love during the US Festival. 
Promoter:  WHAT?!?!?!?!

<end scene>

FINAL THOUGHTS
As I await my screenwriting Oscar, I'll comment on today's number one hit.  "Power of Love", like most Huey Lewis songs, is catchy, kind of fun, and entirely what the radio was made for.  You don't seek it out, but when it comes on, you don't change the tuner.  It's plain hamburger for the soul.  I think that's a good thing.  So, give it a listen.  And, while you're at it, go re-watch Back to the Future when you have a moment.  I'm sure they're going to remake it in short order with the singular intent of ruining your childhood (again).  I know.  We are the bravest generation.

Aerosmith "Livin' on the Edge"

*****Number One (Album Rock), April, 1993*****

Sometimes, there's just too much information.

For example, here are some details about this week's chart-topper, Aerosmith:

• As of April 2018, they are number fourteen on the list of all time, worldwide, best selling artists.  They've sold 66.5 million units, which puts them just ahead of the likes of Madonna and Bruce Springsteen!  
• By the way, this makes a quartet of top-50 product-moving hitmakers that the NOPR has dispensed thus far.  They join those selective ranks, appearing far behind Billy Joel (#6) but up above Van Halen (#20) and Guns N' Roses (#31).
• Completely unrelated, but somehow equally important, is this photo that the editors of that linked story decided to use for GnR.  Um... 

Yeah...still umming

• Right, so, more on the boys from Boston.  They released seventy-six singles in their several decades-spanning career.  Of those;
• Twenty-one reached the Billboard Top 40
• Nine made it to the top of the Billboard Album/Rock chart (including today's tune)
• One hit the summit just in Australia, Janie's Got a Gun (I'm guessing Men at Work was quiet that year)
• And one terrible, dreadful, cheese-stuffed asteroid of a recording managed to reach the pinnacle on our continent; I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. 
• My clever and timely hot take, you do want to miss that song, as well as the turgid film that pushed it to unnecessary glory, Armageddon.  

Now, normally I would have followed up that withering burn by posting a pic from that schlock-fest of a flick with a zany caption.  However, I just stumbled upon an article entitled "Michael Bay Apologizes for Armageddon."  So, okay.  I'm good.  I'll let it slide.

Oh, wait.

Same site, the next day, "Never Mind: Michael Bay is Not Sorry for Armageddon."  Alright then.

Tylers: 2.  Batmen: 1.  Humanity: 0.

Back to Aerosmith.  I admit, in my late teens and early twenties, I became a pretty big fan.  As MTV helped introduce them to a new generation, a lot of people (myself included) became enamored with the band, especially their back catalogue.  I've got a pretty firm memory of spending significant record store job time unpacking and stacking endless copies of their greatest hits cd.  We went through a ton of those during every holiday's $9.99 sale, of which there were many.

Of course, their more recent releases did pretty well too.  And I, as a dutiful wanna-be longhair, had in my collection the required albums.  I think that, at various times, I possessed;

• Permanent Vacation
• Pump
• Get a Grip
• Pandora's Box (four-cd retrospective)

There very well may have been others, but I'm pretty sure those were on my shelf at least.

So, that's a lot of history, both in general and specific to me.  That can make it tough to evaluate one song on its own merits, without a ton of other considerations seeping in.  But, I think I've figured out a way.  Or, at least a way to try.

Pardon me Aunt Phyllis, I don't have time to chat politics right now sorry thanks!

This week's song is Livin' on the Edge.  It was the lead single on their first record released after the return to fame.  Is it one of their better songs, along the lines of early career rockers Mama Kin or Train Kept a Rollin?  Eh, no.  That much we know.  But is it as bad as post Y2K nonsense like, well, let's see, they put out an album in 2004 called Honkin' on Bobo.  I haven't heard a single second of it, but I'm going to chalk it up as an "L".  Call it a hunch.

So where does this number one fit?  And is it good?  To figure it out, we're gonna need to have a talk with Mr Tyler.

You see, the lyrics of this tune are somewhat of the proclamation variety.  They're sort of meant to be directed at everyone.  And, since I'm an everyone (more or less), I'd like to step up and respond for the universe.  I believe that the way to determine this hit's quality is to engage in a simulated and stimulating discussion with the musical spokesperson.  I'll be playing the part of me (pfft, typecasting) with the verses of Livin' on the Edge forming the other end of the convo.  Thus, without further ado...

A conversation with Steven
Me:  Hello Mr Tyler
ST:  There's something wrong with the world today.  
Me:  Oh, well, yes, yes there is.  I know what it is.
ST:   I don't know what it is.
Me:  You don't?  Well...
ST:  Something's wrong with our eyes.
Me:  Um...no...that's not it.
ST:  We're seeing things in a different way and god knows it ain't his.  It sure ain't no surprise.
Me:  In a different way from what exactly?  What's going on?
ST:  There's something wrong with the world today
Me:  You said that
ST:  The lightbulb's getting dim
Me:  Is this about climate change?  Or, are you referring to our collective intelligence?
ST:  There's meltdown in the sky
Me:  Ah, second one.
ST:  If you can judge a wise man by the color of his skin, then mister you're a better man than I
Me:  So, by that reasoning, a really intuitive racist is better than you.  Got it.
ST:  Tell me what you think about your situation, complication, aggravation is getting to you
Me:  Well, something is getting to me.
ST:  If chicken little tells you that the sky is falling, even if it wasn't would you still come crawling back again, I bet you would my friend, again and again.
Me:  That just doesn't make sense.  I'm glad we're friends, though.
ST:  Something right with the world today.
Me:  Yeah, we're friends!
ST:  And everyone knows it's wrong.
Me:  Dammit.
ST:  But we can tell 'em no, or we could let it go, but I would rather be a hanging on.
Me:  Ok, good, I guess.  I don't know.  I need to ruminate for a bit before I get to my final thoughts on the matter.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Whew, we got here fast.

In the end, I've got to say this tune isn't very strong lyrically.  Like, at all.  If you asked, say, a fifth grader to watch the news and report back, I presume you'd get a response roughly as in-depth as the words above.  This is not a political anthem.  It's an observation from a guy that just emerged from a twenty year bender to discover a world not made of hookers and blow.  Depressing, sobering (literally), but not terribly earth-shattering.

And, to be honest, this is Aerosmith.  You don't expect anything introspective or thoughtful.  We want bluesy riffs, metaphors for sex, metaphors for drugs, and sex and drugs.  Any more than that isn't needed and, quite frankly, sub-standard.  There's decades of proof to back that up.

Sorry Steven, I don't mean to be rude, but stick to simplicity.  But, call me, we'll hang out.  Just lose the hat, dude.