It's the holidays! I sincerely hope that you don't have to spend them, um, solo.
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| Meeting the in laws is always uncomfortable. And itchy. |
That stupendous image above is from a trainwreck of trainwrecks, the monumentally bad Star Wars Christmas Special. It is considered the benchmark for embarrassment, and contributed absolutely nothing of value to entertainment or the Santa-loving world we live in.
It wasn't alone, though. Sadly, there's been a lot of abysmal attempts at kid-friendly fare produced over the decades. Some truly terrible stuff has been made. Why, I don't know. I guess there's a percentage of our nation that will consume pretty much anything if you slap a droopy fur-lined red hat on top of it.
Which brings us to The Chipmunks.
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| Same |
While a few weirdos may find hoodie-wearing rodents to be aesthetically charming, especially when one of them flashes the peace sign (because war, man), I sincerely disagree. These eardrum-shattering creations are awful. I don't want to hear them. I don't want to hear them sing. I don't want to hear them sing about Christmas.
And yet.
They hit number one.
So, someone must have liked them.
I blame my parental units.
You see, my folks are the type who will frequently say "people don't know how to sing these days!" Yeah, mom and dad? This critter hit topped the charts sixty years ago! It peaked in popularity during your teen years. Your time! You own this!
I don't actually say this to them, but I should. I mean, people look back and laugh at the music of my high school days. So unfair! Bang Tango was totally legit you guys! Just like I told you back then. Why doesn't anyone listen to me? I should start a blog. That'll help.
Sigh. Anyway, now, where was I? Oh yeah, bad Christmas culture. Such as...
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| I, uh, I don't really know what this is. |
Oh right. That's a still from the He-Man & She-Ra holiday special. Feel joyous yet? Ready to don some gay apparel? No? Let's check out another...
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| So. Many. Songs. About. Pellets. |
Yup, a video game character wants to sing for you about his faith.
Bet you're feeling real jolly now.
Where does that leave us?
FINAL THOUGHTS
Admittedly, I've been a bit hard on today's "band" by virtue of comparing it to their peers rather than judging them on their own merits. Ok, I can recognize that isn't really fair. I mean, all animals should get to celebrate and sing about the holidays just like us humans. Who cares if their voices make me want to shove a dental drill in my brain? They still have the right to...
No, never mind. They have no rights. This is just plain awful. I'd rather watch turtles cavort on the 25th. Which, sadly, I can certainly do.
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| Merry Xmas everyone! |
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