We're back, and what a way to return! This week's number one hit is from a member of what many people would consider the number one band in the history of music. What luck! What a treat, why I...wait...what's that noise?
Oh, there's an elephant in the room, steadily tapping his foot on the ground. Strange.
Anyway, today we get to look at a top song from nonother than Ringo Starr. While I haven't listened to much of his solo stuff, I'm sure...it...is...hang on.
Now the elephant is jumping up and down, blowing his trunk and flapping his weird ears to and fro. Quite a racket. He's certainly making himself known!
Regardless, this tune reached the top of the chart for one week in the winter of 1973. It was the lead single on his eponymous album, and was, um...
Oh cripes, the elephant is charging me. Here it comes!!!
The, uh, the song is titled...
Crap, it's almost here!
Titled..."Photograph".
AHHH!! OK!!! STOP!! HERE, TAKE IT! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, ISN'T IT???!!!?!?!?!
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| Stupid elephant |
Def Leppard, one of the top-selling bands of my youth also happened to have a quite popular song with the same title. And, due to the distinction of growing up in a house with an incredibly paltry music collection (one small drawer holding perhaps a dozen dusty tapes of artists long past their peak), my window of knowledge on the subject was severly lacking. I'd barely heard the Beatles, and certainly nothing of the spinoff showcases.
So, when a friend of my sister passed on to me a record (yes, record) of the awesomely explodey-looking Pyromania by some band with a goofy name written in a dagger-like font, well, only then were the seeds of musical understanding planted. And, of course, they were fertilized with Aqua Net and lyrics about the gudelines of adding sweetner to strippers.
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| You know, for kids! |
Not to sound negative about these guys or their photographin'! This album did, and still largely does, rock. Def Leppard were a reasonably cromulent arena band, and certainly had enough chops to hammer out a respectable career. I think they would have succeeded with our without the hair-metal explosion that soon came to pass. No disrespect intended.
But, you know, the Beatles! I mean, I should have at least once been told that Ringo had a number one hit of the same name. Somebody along the way must've known. A teacher, a neighbor, the Solid Gold dancers. Seriously, who raised me? Is this why I'm like this?
Yeah, probably.
Oh, and this.
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| Same |
So, I have absolutely no connection to a song that actually gave its name to his greatest hits collection and is considered one of the very best of all the post-Beatles music. Plus, the tune's name only brings about thoughts of Union Jack T-shirts and a truckload of whoa-oh's. Great, I'm a dummy.
Well, the only thing I can think of doing is to compare the lyrics of this apparent classic to the firmly brain-engrained Def Leppard version in a no-holds barred grudge match to see which truly is the better song. Right? That seems fair. To a dummy.
Which, as established, I am.
!!!PHOTGRAPHIC GRUDGE MATCH!!!
Ringo Starr versus Def Leppard
Opening Stanza
Starr
"Ev'ry time I see your face
It reminds me of the places we used to go
But all I got is a photograph
And I realise you're not coming back anymore"
Leppard
"I'm outta luck, outta love
Got a photograph, picture of
Passion killer, you're too much
You're the only one I wanna touch"
Ringo has the feels, and Def is feeling horny. Seems about right. Let's next pick out a coupling from each that seems to be the crux of the respective song and consider those one by one.
Starr
"Now you're expecting me to live without you, but that's not something I'm looking forward to."
Sad, poignent, heartfelt.
Leppard
"Look what you've done to this rock n' roll clown, look what you've done."
I've heard all I need.
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| The winner. Don't look so surprised. |
Thus, without hearing lick one from this chart topping hit, I'm pronouncing it better than the version I've heard eight million times. Is that fair? Sure, why not. Nostalgia is for suckers and soccer moms anyway. Change with the times! Live and let die!
And, uh, don't refer to yourself as a rock n' roll clown. You'll never beat a Beatle that way.
Stupid elephant.
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